Tuesday 26.5.09

The house seemed quiet today after a busy family weekend. I didn't mind, but also, didn't get a lot done. I've been reading Bloomsbury Grammar Guide by Gordon Jarvie. All to see if I can polish up my writing, especially when dealing with passages of speech. It is tedious and therefore slow going for me as even at the best of times I have the concentration of a goldfish. The point of good grammar is to make for better communication, 'better' ought to mean 'more interesting' and yet this grammar book is written in a hectoring style. I'm wondering if it was in fact written by my former deputy head teacher, one of those straight-backed, strict types with a voice that stung the listener behind the eyes. On reflection, it's easier to be reading the stuff than sitting in a classroom trying to learn it. Having been to school in the 1970's, I spent a lot of lessons making collages. I was never very good at it and therefore didn't enjoy it, but I can cut and stick with the best of 'em now. I just can't do quotation marks and that.

As the evening wore on, I started to worry about the content of this blog. Nina said that she had spoken to Malc who runs Ditch the TV (http://www.ditchthetv.co.uk/). He had come across the blog and inevitably wasn't too happy about my comments (if you want to read the diary for that day, it's here http://girlundertrees.blogspot.com/2009/05/friday-8509.html ). I think Nina was embarrassed. She said to me, "Be careful or you'll really hurt someone". Once I got over my bit of glee that Malc had found the blog, and failed to work out how he found it, I had a good think.

The thing about a diary is that it's not journalism. I don't aim for balance, and whilst I aim for the truth, it has to be subjective truth. As more people have come to read the blog, I've edited myself slightly and eliminated some of my worst excesses. I name only family members and people in the public eye, avoid anything too intimate, and keep it polite. Also, I don't say anything here that I wouldn't say to the person's face. Everything else is fair game though, otherwise this diary is going to become a work of fiction and won't be worth bothering with. Almost every entry is intended to be a commentary on myself and my attitudes, rather than a heavyweight criticism about somebody else. As far as the Ditch the TV entry goes, I think this is especially true. The main thread is my judgemental snobbery. Just because I'm not likely to go again doesn't mean I don't recommend it. There were plenty of people there who were enjoying it, and for £3 its worth giving a try. I admire Malc (who I've never met) for his dedication to the project and I genuinely wish him success.

I am conscious that keeping the blog has caused hurt. A problem for me is that I haven't been able to predict it. For instance, Nick was (and still is) hurt by an entry where I wrote about my disappointment at his buying the 'wrong' chocolates http://girlundertrees.blogspot.com/2009/02/saturday-14209.html . I had thought that what I had written was a bit humorous and a reflection of my being incredibly spoilt - wrong chocolates is an oxymoron in my dictionary. However, my wrestling with multicultural Coventry which I wasn't comfortable with and thought I would get shot down for got me praise from several quarters http://girlundertrees.blogspot.com/2009/04/tuesday-7409.html . The only way forward is, well, forward. I plan to carry on as I have done, carefully, but not too cautiously. That's bound to bite me on the arse.