Friday, 11 February 2011

Morrissey Would Be Proud

I'm still tring to learn medications. Someone suggested I put them to music. Nothing ventured... I've been humming Jeane by The Smiths all the way round the ward, and given the downbeat nature of the original lyrics, it seem obvious to link it to antidpressants. It doesn't really fit, but I've had a fun three hours playing with it. Perhaps a kind person will make it into a karaoke video?


The low-life has lost its appeal
And I’ve tried walking these streets
And I’m eating five a day (and offered talking therapy)

I'm not sure what SSRI means
But I know there’s fluoxetine
And I know seratonin gets a boost
(If you don’t mind nausea and no sex)

We tried citalopram and we failed
We tried fluvoxamine and we failed
We tried paroxetine and we failed
We tried certraline and we failed

We tried venlaflaxine, (SNRI) we failed

We tried duloxetine (SNRI) and we failed
(We tried for 6 weeks and if we saw results kept going for 6 months)

There's tricyclics on the sink where we bathe
So how can we manage a home
With drowsiness and sleep problems?

(but you’ve got a drink for the dry mouth so never mind the nausea, weight gain and no sex) We need the noradrenaline Jean as well as the seratonin

But you still hold a TCA
As you take amitriptyline
But don’t overdose

We tried mirtazipine (TeCA), and we failed (we were fat, tired but didn’t need the sink)

We tried and we failed
We tried

Oh ...
Cash on the nail
Tryptophan’s just a fairytale
Oh ...
You got to try the MAOIs first

But I think you know
I really think you know
Oh ...
I think you know to avoid cheese meat and beer (it’s the tyramine)

Oh ...

No heavenly sleep
Not for me and not for you
Because I think you’re fat
And maybe nauseous and dry mouthed
I think you know the MAOIs
Oh ... (To stop breakdown of seratonin and noradrenaline)

That we tried phenelzine, and we failed
That we tried tranylcypromine, and we failed
We tried isocarboxazid and we failed
We tried moclobemide and we failed (though we could feast)
Oh ...
Oh we’ve got discontinuation syndrome

If you're not open mouthed with astonishment, I give you permission to laugh.


Emma said...

Haha brilliant. Now I have to listen to the song so I know the tune!

Dee's Diary said...

ha thanks, now I need a song for antipsychotics.