Haven’t been so busy for years, and it’s taking its toll. I had anticipated the aching knees, but not the tiredness, or the consequential inability to think clearly. I’m glad I decided to try to eat healthy during this placement because I’m hungry all the time, so it’s just as well I’m eating more fruit than cake. The placement has just passed the half-way point. I’ve got a grip on the skills grid (list of things I need to be able to show I can do), and I’ve had much of it signed off. I’m still enjoying the ward, although there had been harrowing conversations I didn’t expect to come across so early on. Whilst it’s flattering that people have felt able to confide in me, I haven’t yet developed the coping mechanisms to deal with it in myself, nor the expertise to help them. I’m unsure if as a mature student I’ve heard more than the average. If younger people are having these conversations, then I hope they’re finding support, because I don’t think I could have managed as a young woman fresh from A’levels. Here's to 'em, and to the inspirational young nurse I worked with the other day (and patronised unintentionally as I seem to have a knack for doing however hard I try to avoid it).
In my hours off, I’ve tried to skill up, spending the week attempting to learn about medications. Unfortunately, the details slip against my memory like butter off a hot knife. I woke at six this morning, half dreaming of the characteristics of a drug I couldn’t name. I lay awake for a long time mouthing the names of drugs beginning with C, thinking ‘I know this, I know it…’ Only on the way back from the bathroom intending to look it up did it come to me. Sadly, it’s the only one I know really well. Now, I’m a bit scared about the forthcoming exam, not to mention the maths exam I haven’t yet prepared for. Having enjoyed the ward so much, it would be a blow to get chucked off because of my inability to distinguish Clobazam (the benzodiazepine) from Clozapine (the antipsychotic) from Carbamazepine (the antiepileptic).
All manner of small things have been happening on the home front. I made some Craftivism kits to take to the WI, and had a nice time meeting people there. It’s the kind of thing I would have loved to have been doing last year, but just don’t have the energy to go regularly. People bought all the kits, and I think it went Ok though, so I’m glad to have done it. Nick, with redundancy looming, is busy applying for jobs and mourning the loss of the work that he has put his heart and soul into. Somehow, I remain optimistic in spite of the economic situation that he‘ll find something he likes.
My Mum rang to say that my brother W was getting married this April. He has been engaged for some time, and I got in touch to say ‘congratulations’. Embarrassingly, it transpired that they have no intention of getting married before next year. I was a little relieved. How on earth was I going to get a double quilt made by Easter?