Application

Monday 18.1.10
. . . .
Where was I? Did you miss me?

It has been a snowy start to the year, and I had a break from all of my usual habits, letting myself get really grungy and uncommunicative. Then, I woke up; the snow was gone, the sun was up, I got busy. Two college assignments, Nina's quilt, new home cooking recipes, a tidy study, Nan turned 99, lots going on in the kids lives. I booked Nick and I a swanky hotel in romantic Cardiff. Things are looking up.

I have am just about to submit my UCAS application to start at Uni this September. It's almost completed. I have yet to decide if I should declare my depression as a disability. As I see it, if I declare they might reject me, if I don't and then get ill, I might not get the help I need. As I've not had medical help with it for four years, I'm tending towards not declaring. We'll see. It has been a strange process getting the application done. My former boss, against whom I've harboured a high degree of Cornish resentment has supplied (within twelve hours) a really lovely reference. He remembered nice things I had forgotten and evidently noticed things I wasn't aware he had. If nothing else, I am now able to remember him more warmly. I'm far less happy with my personal statement. It is so difficult to write about myself. And yet of course, I do it all the time, for no reason at all, and put it out on the internet for strangers, and you, to read. I'm nearly there with it now, but I've spent all day on it. It's only 400 words. That's not much more than a blog entry.

After the application is submitted, I will be taking this blog off line for a few weeks. I've always been able to be my honest self on here because up to now I've had no-one to answer to. When the application goes in, that changes, I don't want to be rejected in the unlikely event that a lecturer has skims a couple of my more bleak entries, or indeed, is turned off by my talk of Richard Herring, Billy Bragg and patchwork.

I'll go live again once I know that I've got a place. Wish me luck.