It's bed time. The other day, I got my credit card out and ordered Nina a new bed. For the first time it's gonna be a double.
As Nick sometimes gently points out, I'm soft where the kids are concerned. Her old single (must be eight or ten years old and much repaired) fell apart. She offered to buy her own but I felt sorry for her, she works such a long week for very little money, and since she was willing to go for the cheapo Argos option, I ordered it for her. It is due to arrive on Monday, so Nina and her Dad spent the morning taking the old one apart and rearranging her room for the new one. It was a nice family type thing, poignantly commonplace.
Nick and I were reminiscing about when we were young, sleeping together in single beds, just as until now Nina and her boyfriend P have had to do. We broke a slat in Nick's bed in his teenage bedroom at his parent's home. It was smirkingly repaired by Nick's dad who as far as I know - and I think we would have known - never said a word to Nick's mum. We never slept together in that bed though, Nick would sleep downstairs on the floor, coming back up next morning with tea to reach under the bedclothes. We giggled quietly as we still do. Our favorite shared single was in my student room at Headingley. Nick would drive up from Coventry every weekend, and we would sleep snug in the old single bed that was a mattress over a metal spring base, extra squeaky, wedged against the wall that adjoined the bathroom. I had the smallest room in the house and it was a cold place in a cold city.
It was our first regular pattern of spending whole nights together. I had the outside edge and often woke with a jerk, almost falling out. Nick had the side next to the wall, the cold side. I still love the lyrics by Billy Bragg that ran 'When I fall between you and the wall/Our Titanic love affair sails on the morning tide'. It's from the ahem 'seminal' Milkman of Human Kindness, he still sings it live, on most but not all set lists. Knowing Billy, the line could have some political meaning, but when I think of it, it's about falling out of bed on the wall side. Nick and I had other single beds, one in a bedsit I had in Leeds, but only for one weekend (a make or break one in our relationship though), and one in another bedsit that we rented for the summer before we got married. Once we started living together properly, for a while, I missed the closeness of sleeping in a single bed, feeling somehow less loved. We both slept a lot better though, and got used to the space. Now, we have a kingsize bed, and it all felt a bit cozy the other week when we had the double at the holiday place.
Years ago, facing ongoing health problems, Nick's parents put a single bed in their room, alongside their double. Nick's Dad was especially sad, but was anxious that G wasn't able to sleep as he was restless. I wondered idly why they didn't get two singles to save on space. I was in my late twenties, married with two children. What an idiot. Ah, but I've enjoyed teasing Nina about her new furniture.
I wish Nina well in her occasionally shared double bed. I'm not sure what kind of Mother that makes me. A different one from Nick's Mum, and from mine is for sure. I don't have religious or moral concerns. I don't think the having of more sleeping space is necessarily liable to lead to promiscuity, or STIs, or pregnancy. I hope it leads to the ability to stretch out and therefore, to more comfortable sleep. Although..... the trouble with parenting I find is that you only know after the event.
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