An errand into town ought not to be so complex, it must be a metaphor for life.
Task:
post my friend S half a dozen pieces of A4 paper
Method:
Looked for one of at least four staplers in the house, unable to find any. Also unable to find A4 envelopes. Jotted down S's address, sandwiched A4 paper in book.
Walked into town. Got to £1 shop to get envelopes and stapler. Only 80p in purse. Retraced steps to cash machine.
Back to £1 shop. No ordinary envelopes in stock, but lots of bubble-wrap type ones. Decided that was Ok but seemed silly to use for just the paper. Browsed shop for suitable small gifts to enclose for S's children.
Queued in shop, feeling pleasantly beneficent.
Sat on bench to put it all together, realised had not bought stapler, back to shop.
Back to bench to assemble the collection. Extreme difficulty in opening packet for stapler. Man in religious dress moved away quickly.
Go to post office deep in the bowels of WHSmith, joined wrong end of queue.
Called over by efficient post office worker. Pay quite a lot of money to post unnecessarily large packet. "I'll take that from you", said the cashier. I imagine his disappointment when he finds, instead of his anticipated cornucopia of cash and electronic goods, some A4 paper and a packet of girlie fashion stickers.
Walk back through town noting the shops that have closed down since I last came in to town.
Looked in shop windows at watches. Decided they are all too expensive and that what I need to do is to find the perfectly good watch that I have mislaid in the house.
Could my life be any more complicated?
Yes, because Morrissey has rescheduled his show. I now have £35 of coach tickets to London that I don't need. I also have a spare ticket for Richard Herring in Bristol on Tuesday because my brother can't make it. Any takers? For the ticket I mean, not my life, I'll be keeping that thanks.
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