Wednesday 15.4.09

I feel that, for posterity, and because I didn't do anything much today, I should say what happened on Easter Monday.

We had a proper family day out. With the kids getting older, I suspect that the days of all of us spending a whole day together are numbered. We don't do it often as it is, and it was a feat of negotiation to get everyone's agreement. No wonder the G8 never seems to get very far.

The morning was a return to times when the children were young. Being too excited, I couldn't sleep, and then overslept. Not wanting to let the side down, I got up too quickly and scurried about, giving myself a headache. Nina and H were excited too, and there was a lot of laughter. In a return to babyhood, they insisted in having their 'side' of the back of the car. Nick and I had picked the venue, just like proper parents. We were heading for Newent, Gloucester, to the International Centre for Birds of Prey. Here they are: http://www.icbp.org/ We had the perfect Spring sunshiny bank holiday weather, it was a real pleasure driving along, chatting, everyone in good spirits. The kids said they'd rather be going to Alton Towers.

There's always one of the party who's a bit reluctant. To my surprise, this time it was Nina. She spent the morning running about, teasing her sister, speaking scornfully too loud, and shrieking with inappropriate laughter. I kept my temper until lunch, when a fly landed in her food, and she screamed. I told her off. She cried quietly. I reflected that we had been doing all of this ten years ago. Its a hard habit to break, but she's nearly nineteen now, not eight. Maybe its working with children that's done it to her, and the day was a chance to shake off the responsibility of being the grownup, to be the kid again. Anyway, we made up, and she was she usual self in the afternoon. I must add in her defense that she had bad ears so couldn't hear herself, or the commentary during the demonstrations.

The first time Nick and I had been here was on the way back from our honeymoon in the Malverns. We followed a brown sign up the lane and had a great afternoon. We had found a new thing in common, and thankfully, we still have it in common. The place has improved over the years, the sheds are in better condition, the cafe is nicer, the trees have matured and the grounds are landscaped. The birds are just the same though. The joy is in spotting the similarities and differences, and in enjoying the brownness of them. I have to admit, I do have a special liking for the vultures. They remind me of the Jungle Book with their Disney antics. All of the birds have their own characters, and these come through best when they are allowed out to fly, which they do on a rota basis for their health.

I couldn't sit close to the demonstrations as the sun was strong, and I can't stand it on my head. I watched the birds in the sky and sat under a tree. The centre owner's Labradors came over to be petted, and it was all idyllic. The centre owner is like a female character out of Enid Blighton's Famous Five books. Redolent of the confidence of Girl Guides, girls school education, maybe the WRAF. A true authority. Passionate, bossy, indefatigable, all-seeing. It takes some confidence on its own to wear a plaid dirndl skirt, white socks, trainers and non matching polo shirt. I'm surprised the birds ever misbehave, I'm sure the staff don't.

The best part of the day happened right at the end when we were looking at a small Scops Owl. He was sort of purring through his beak. As we stood watching, we became more certain that he was being aggressive, rather than nice. I got close to take a photo and failed to notice him flying towards me. He landed on the mesh of his cage, scratching me slightly with his talon. I have to admit, I screeched in surprise. My family fell about laughing. I was glad that at least I hadn't been caught by the boss.

Sunday 5.4.09

The energy rush brought on by the arrival of Spring was too good to be true. I'm back to listless dissociation. Today, I spent in bed, refusing to go to the Dr Who exhibition at Coventry Transport Museum with the rest of the family. I feel bad about it as it had been planned for some time. Like many families with teenagers, we don't do things enough things together so, even as a lay in bed in my empty house, strips of sunshine traversing the duvet, I felt guilty.

I feel I also let down my inner child, as between the ages of 5 and 12 I longed to see the Dr Who exhibition. Defying the gender stereotype, I was a regular viewer from the mid -Pertwee period, through vintage Baker, and to the end of Davidson. The Dr Who exhibition used to be at Longleat House with the lions. It was advertised on the TV, and was shown on Blue Peter. I don't know what far off places other kids dreamed of. I remember a very earnest school friend informing me that she and her family were, "just doing Butlins this year because we have to save up to go abroad every other year." This seemed unbelievably sophisticated to me. We never went on holiday, or even on day trips to semi-educational tourist attractions.

We lived in Cornwall, a county that isn't short of opportunities for slightly tacky family days out, but we never went. Flambards had the Poldark exhibition, featuring the history of Cornish the smuggling industry. I never saw it. Lands End had, well, rocks and a tea-shop (they've 'improved it since'). I have never seen it to this day. Dairyland had cows, Bird Paradise had birds, the Seal Sanctuary had seals, and I never went to any of them. I didn't mind any of that. My idea of a good day out was a trip to Redruth to go to John Oliver's which was a sort of independent WHSmith, where I might be allowed to choose a book or a random item of stationary (ah, but not the pop-a-point pencil which I really, really needed).

I longed and longed to be taken to Longleat House, but as much as I craved it and asked Jim'll Fix It for it, I knew it would never happen. Cornwall was a long way from Warminster. It has got closer as the roads have improved, but its still 174 miles each way, 3 hours 34 minutes according to the AA. People travelled less in the 70's anyway. There was less money around, cars were less comfortable, and expectations were lower. That was why my schoolfriend's holidays were such a big deal. Another friend once had a week in Ilfracombe, with no irony intended, wow it was amazing to think of.

The consequence of all of this is that I've never seen a real live Cyberman. I have seen a Dalek, because there is a tame one in Waterstones in the Coventry precinct branch. I've never seen it exterminate anyone though, it's worth regular visit, just in case it happens one day. Sadly for the younger me, I suppose I never will meet K9. I will do most things on my own, but when my mood picks up, I don't imagine that I'll want to walk around the exhibition on my own. It will be too scary for me.