Dusty Alien B Movie

Remember the film Invasion of the Bodysnatchers? I don’t. Not very well anyway. I’m pretty convinced I’ve been taken over by some alien presence though. The alien likes to spend time clearing up. Clearly I can’t be the real me because the real me would rather do anything than tidy (and I include getting dental treatment in that statement). I have been trying to work out what started me off, but I’m clueless.


Yesterday, I scrubbed up the bathroom, including washing the shower curtain and the window. If you’re the kind of person who does that once a week, good for you. Me, I reserve them for major events like a visit from Nick’s Mum, her last visit was in 1999. Today, I washed sofa cushions and went to do a bit of sewing but got distracted by a little tub of stuff that had fallen down. I’ve been taking stuff off shelves, dusting and replacing ever since, with lots of chucking stuff out and packing things into smaller containers. Usually, I’d be screaming at it after five minutes and giving up after ten. Today, I’m itching to get back to it and am only still at it due to a bin-bag deficit.

Poor Nick is coming off worse in this virtual wife swap. Yesterday, I thought we were having a lovely time as we were chatting while he scrubbed up the grouting in the shower. I was delighted that he had got off work a couple of hours early, it seemed like fate, and it was such a shame when after half an hour he said, ‘I’ve had enough of this’ and went to do some work he’d brought home. Today, I found two boxes of computer discs and cables to sort out and throw away, plus I need him to put the sofa cushions back. He didn’t seem at all keen and said it was unlikely that anything could be spared, and proceeded to pack it all back up into one box, apart from a pile that isn’t in a box any more. I’m cool with that. I’ve interpreted his behaviour as hoarding given that the stuff hasn’t been touched in four years, so tomorrow, I’ll be getting rid of it all. If he doesn’t read this, he’ll find out in two years time. I will deny all.

Looking around, the place looks a lot worse. Tomorrow, I will almost certainly be restored to my body and everything will be piled up floor to ceiling again. All that will be left will be the two UfO’s that I found, now folded neatly and waiting to be completed. If I ever remember where I put them.