Eat Eat Eat

The diet is going well. I hadn’t been out to a cafe for a while as when I do, I find it 100% necessary to eat food that is sugary, fatty or both. I am a bit phobic about salad I haven’t made myself, believing that it won’t be properly washed or will be cross contaminated and I will contract e-coil and salmonella poisoning at the bite of a lettuce leaf. Much healthier to chow down on saturated fat, so pass me the chips. The problem with the café avoidance for me is that I find them good places to get a bit of work done. Yesterday, off I went to the supermarket, and there I was at the café, being as moderate as I could be, reminding myself that I am fat because I eat too much of the wrong things, and that thin people eat the right amount of the right things. I need to copy those people.


Four youths caught my eye. Three boys and a girl, slender, immaculately dressed, Japanese looking, seemingly happy to be exploring the exotic delights offered by the Morrisons café. They looked at the sandwiches, but went off again, returning with bags of cooked chicken from the deli. I thought they probably weren’t aware of the ‘these seats are for customers of the café only’ rule and anticipated their being moved on. They were left to it though, while they drank juice from cartons, and tore apart the greasy chicken with fingers and teeth. It was a feast, and I was taken aback at the quantity they consumed. It was almost all over and the chicken bones were being bagged up. Two members of staff were approaching. They were carrying trays. Were they going to speak to the Japanese eaters on the way to another table? No, the two trays were for them. Four large all day breakfasts with toast. The chicken had been a starter. I saw the plates they left behind on my way out. They had eaten everything up. Except the tomatoes.

I don’t eat the tomatoes either. Perhaps my mistake is that I don’t eat enough fried food?