Monday 16.11.09
For weeks, I've been hankering to see Richard Herring's As It Occurs To Me live. It aims to have the qualities of a radio show without the censor, is recorded live and goes out as an unedited podcast. I thought he made a disappointing start, but it came on leaps and bounds and I love it. Nina took pity on me, or perhaps got tired of my whinging, and offered to take me to London for my Christmas prezzie to see the show.
We had a good trip down on the coach. I was confident enough about the travel sickness tablets working not to overdose on them as I did last time, although I still slept on the coach and was dozy for an hour afterwards. we were in very good time for the show and killed an hour or so walking about Chinatown and Theatreland looking at the lights, the people, and the fabulously decorated sponge cakes in the window of the Chinese bakery.
I had spotted a homeless man partially hidden in the shadows of a doorway opposite the Leicester Square Theatre and, as we approached him on our second circuit, although he wasn't asking for money, I offered him a couple of pounds. He had some cans lined up but seemed quite sober and sane, telling us in an Eastern European accent that he stayed around here because it was close to the church, telling us about his faith and how he would prey for us. It was a nice interaction, and we said goodbye and walked on. Nina asked me why I stopped in the first place and I tried to explain that although when I was young I would have said that it wasn't right to give to beggars and that the only way was to support charities, I no longer feel this way. I had eaten and thought that the homeless man might like to, but if he wanted to drink, then a couple of quid would make no difference to his addiction and might take the chill off. We talked about the rights and wrongs of this for a while, and came back full circle again, about to go into the venue.
It was then that the homeless man called us over. He began by saying that he had been thinking since we had been gone and had said to himself "Why did I not ask this question?". He asked if we had some time and I said that we needed to get going but would see him when we got out. He kept us talking and said he only needed a minute and would ask now. Nina and I looked towards each-other, both of us thinking he was going to talk to us about religion and that this would be awkward. He took a deep breath, and looked at Nina,
"You, I think, are too young." now looking at me, "But you, I say to you, I am a very sexual man but look for love also".
He went on for a minute or so with both Nina and I too stunned to speak. It was the first time anyone has proposed marriage to me (I proposed to Nick, but that's another story). Here I was on a street around the corner from Leicester Square being proposed to by a virtually sober, almost clean, homeless man. It was awkward, and funny, and sad. Where were my liberal principles now?
"So, what I ask is how you are fix?", he said.
I explained that I was married. He looked crestfallen and was apologetic. I tried to be as nice about it as I could. We said goodbye hurriedly.
As we went into the theatre, Nina pointed out that nothing we heard tonight would be as funny. She was correct. We talked about it and giggled about it. At her suggestion, we put our hands up during the audience participation part of the show, and it got a big laugh from the audience. Clearly, we were only willing to go so.. far in our bid to help the homeless. Had I not have been married, it might have worked though. A genius solution to the problem of vagrancy, well done that tramp. He wasn't there as we came out. It was just as well.
Waiting for the midnight coach at Victoria, a middle-aged besuited Asian man was eyeing Nina up. He moved seats several times so as to get a good all-round view. We resorted to laughing over this too, I asked Nina if she was merely jealous since he hadn't yet proposed.
Here's the podcast, we are 33.5 minutes in to episode 5:
www.comedy.org.uk/podcasts/as_it_occurs_to_me/
but listen to the whole thing and ten subscribe on itunes because it is excellent.
For weeks, I've been hankering to see Richard Herring's As It Occurs To Me live. It aims to have the qualities of a radio show without the censor, is recorded live and goes out as an unedited podcast. I thought he made a disappointing start, but it came on leaps and bounds and I love it. Nina took pity on me, or perhaps got tired of my whinging, and offered to take me to London for my Christmas prezzie to see the show.
We had a good trip down on the coach. I was confident enough about the travel sickness tablets working not to overdose on them as I did last time, although I still slept on the coach and was dozy for an hour afterwards. we were in very good time for the show and killed an hour or so walking about Chinatown and Theatreland looking at the lights, the people, and the fabulously decorated sponge cakes in the window of the Chinese bakery.
I had spotted a homeless man partially hidden in the shadows of a doorway opposite the Leicester Square Theatre and, as we approached him on our second circuit, although he wasn't asking for money, I offered him a couple of pounds. He had some cans lined up but seemed quite sober and sane, telling us in an Eastern European accent that he stayed around here because it was close to the church, telling us about his faith and how he would prey for us. It was a nice interaction, and we said goodbye and walked on. Nina asked me why I stopped in the first place and I tried to explain that although when I was young I would have said that it wasn't right to give to beggars and that the only way was to support charities, I no longer feel this way. I had eaten and thought that the homeless man might like to, but if he wanted to drink, then a couple of quid would make no difference to his addiction and might take the chill off. We talked about the rights and wrongs of this for a while, and came back full circle again, about to go into the venue.
It was then that the homeless man called us over. He began by saying that he had been thinking since we had been gone and had said to himself "Why did I not ask this question?". He asked if we had some time and I said that we needed to get going but would see him when we got out. He kept us talking and said he only needed a minute and would ask now. Nina and I looked towards each-other, both of us thinking he was going to talk to us about religion and that this would be awkward. He took a deep breath, and looked at Nina,
"You, I think, are too young." now looking at me, "But you, I say to you, I am a very sexual man but look for love also".
He went on for a minute or so with both Nina and I too stunned to speak. It was the first time anyone has proposed marriage to me (I proposed to Nick, but that's another story). Here I was on a street around the corner from Leicester Square being proposed to by a virtually sober, almost clean, homeless man. It was awkward, and funny, and sad. Where were my liberal principles now?
"So, what I ask is how you are fix?", he said.
I explained that I was married. He looked crestfallen and was apologetic. I tried to be as nice about it as I could. We said goodbye hurriedly.
As we went into the theatre, Nina pointed out that nothing we heard tonight would be as funny. She was correct. We talked about it and giggled about it. At her suggestion, we put our hands up during the audience participation part of the show, and it got a big laugh from the audience. Clearly, we were only willing to go so.. far in our bid to help the homeless. Had I not have been married, it might have worked though. A genius solution to the problem of vagrancy, well done that tramp. He wasn't there as we came out. It was just as well.
Waiting for the midnight coach at Victoria, a middle-aged besuited Asian man was eyeing Nina up. He moved seats several times so as to get a good all-round view. We resorted to laughing over this too, I asked Nina if she was merely jealous since he hadn't yet proposed.
Here's the podcast, we are 33.5 minutes in to episode 5:
www.comedy.org.uk/podcasts/as_it_occurs_to_me/
but listen to the whole thing and ten subscribe on itunes because it is excellent.
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