Saturday 10.10.09

I don't think of myself as a creature of routine or of ritualised behaviour, and yet....

I woke up next to Nick this morning. The yellow sunlight seemed to have been altered by its journey through the beech trees outside so that is had a mustardy Autumnal quality. Then, I got too busy dozing to notice it.

We went out for lunch and a few groceries, both of us reading papers and not talking much. Nick did the crossword and right at the end showed me the missing words. We filled them in together, but weren't sure that we had them right. At the supermarket, we bought, bread, cake, and mixed nuts. I don't eat nuts, Nick loves them. I will eat most of the cake but Nick might have the second to last one if he is about at the right time.

As we did when we were pregnant, we went out for some fancy things. We're only expecting a dog though, so we egged each other to spend too much money on a fancy collar, lead, name tag and treats. For the rest of the day, we pootled at home.

I decided to make a roast dinner. This was mostly to show off as H has her girlfriend and Nina her boyfriend here. It got a bit elaborate, but everyone enjoyed it. No-one washed up.

I watched Casualty then found something else on TV and sat stitching way past a sensible bed-time.

Looking back on the day, I've done all of this before, and all of it in the same way. From the sleeping in until my bladder hurts, to the cutting two carrots at a time, to the way I secure the sewing thread and double stitch one in ten. Everyone seems to have routines and rituals, not the same as mine, but everyone has them. People are predictable. If not, they are believed to be mad, only when their behaviour is examined it often turns out to be both explicable and routine if a bit elaborate.

I could change any one of these little rituals, and if it made my life better, this might be called 'learning', if not, it would just be unsettling. I'm not going to make any alterations to my little rituals though because, in spite of all of their drawbacks, they're cozy, and they're mine.